My camera arrived in the mail today. At three. P... M......... Ok, that isn't late at all but when you've waited a week for something you desperately want it feels like forever. I was like a miniature shnauzer pressing my head up to the front screen door every 10 minutes or so this morning waiting, just waiting, for the 'brrrrr' sound of the UPS van to pull up. If I had a tail it would've wagged incessantly... I had to manage my time effectively so what did I decide to do? Well, bake biscuits, of course! Bear in mind that I have no idea how to bake biscuits, nor have I ever attempted it but this seemed like an appropriate endeavour for 9:30 am anyway. My mind jumped immediately to the taste of a fluffy, hot, buttery biscuit and how good it would be with some bacon and eggs... Come 1:30 this afternoon on batch #2 of the biscuits I was just praying they'd come out edible so I could eat my lunch. Batch #1 put the hardness of hockey pucks to shame (I still tried to eat them) well by the end of batch two they still looked nothing like the picture but, hey, they didn't make me gag and that was a triumph in my eyes. Well after lunch I had to get the baby down for a nap. Lo, and behold, the UPS package was primed for when I leave the room. The baby, just on the edge of slumber, started wailing as I poked my head out the front door to make sure my mother signed for the package (she got roped into this biscuit making deal upfront). So I get back to Lyla, who is now screaming, and I know my camera is sitting on the table outside. I haven't gotten this excited since I got a barbie dreamshouse......so I bring the baby out of the room and try to console her, meanwhile trying to strategically open the camera with my mind alla Uri Gellar, but to no avail. Luckily my mom was happy to play with the baby while I played with my new toy.
I was sure I'd be snapping great shots and blowing people away with my artistic vision in a matter of minutes........Flash to reality and 15 minutes later I'm scanning the pages of the manual for the instructions for how to put the camera strap on.
I'm in trouble.
All the literature I read online prior to buying this piece of equipment said how it was idiotproof. Learning would be easy while you snap away taking amazing photos on the auto settings. I CAN'T EVEN INSTALL A CAMERA STRAP!!!!! I feel a bit lost off the bat.
Anyway, I still went out to the park after, and I feel like I got some great shots (even if I did have to tape the shutter to my finger) ...Hey eventually something sticks right?
Here's some photos:
I meet up with a local moms group a couple times a week to take Lyla to different outings (the park, play gyms, etc) and one of the girls that frequents these has a 13 mo old son. Her and I get along really well and the other day we met up at the park and she told me she was planning to start trying to have another baby soon. My visceral reaction was 'ugh'. Then I realized that me and Tom planned to start trying to have a baby when Lyla turns 1. Then I thought about all the 'fun' aspects of pregnancy - the stretch marks, the cravings, the nausea, the edema. And I realized that we were supposed to start trying in less than six months and I just started to get a bit of my freedom back with the fact that Lyla takes a bottle now and I can go out every now and again. I don't know if I'm ready for spending every night in for 9 months then another 6 months and breastfeeding on demand every hour and a half and staying up all night (and not in the fun way). Add to that that at the end of my last pregnancy I exploded to a size that was just uncalled for and made me look like octomom and I cower in fear at the thought of another pregnancy.
I must admit, there were times where I absolutely LOVED being pregnant (not to mention milked it for all that it was worth i.e. "I'm seven months pregnant, I can't MOP the FLOOR!")but I just don't know if I am ready. I think the more time that passes the blurrier the memories become of the reality of pregnancy and that is what tricks us into doing it more than once. I guess my memories are still a little too fresh. The concept of the stork coming to deliver the baby on the door step is really looking good right now. I want the baby, but not the fat-faced, small-bladdered, moody, irritable, pukey, swollen beast I become when pregnant. Can someone show me a loophole? PRETTY PLEASE?????
Well I can't believe it's been so long since the last time I posted. This blog started out as a journey through my pregnancy but I've decided to keep track of the goings on as and when I can. Motherhood is such a life-changing event and I really don't want to miss a thing. But I also realize that I need to take time for me and not forget the person that I was before my little angel was born. First things first, I'm going to post my birth story below this entry because I think it bears mentioning! Since then things have been insaaaaane. I haven't had much time to even sit down let along consider writing for any purpose. But the thing is, life is so much more colorful, so much more beautiful now and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My little girl is seven months old now and growing right before my eyes. She's such an amazing kid. She's funny, bright, sweet, and absolutely gorgeous. She really makes life worth living. Here's a recent photo: 
And speaking of photos, My first 'real' camera is coming in the mail within the next few days. I'm excited as I've always wanted to get serious about photography and I finally can now. I hope at some point to start a side business doing it but it's mostly for entertainment purposes. I honestly just need to do something that is just for me and this is the perfect hobby. Here's the camera that I'm getting 
Isn't she beautiful?
I'll try to post more often but life is nothing if not unpredictable these days so I make no promises.
Lyla's birth story is below
After a night of almost no sleep due to nerves and also to Lyla moving around in my belly like crazy (rare for her), we arrived at the hospital at 10:10 am to get ready for the c/s. They admitted us finally at 10:40 and we went up to the room. I was relatively calm in the beginning, until the anesthesiologist came in. The nurse then went to put in my IV and hit a valve in my vein which was so incredibly painful. It took them several minutes to fix the IV at which point the pain was so bad I was crying. That coupled with the nerves I was feeling made me bawl for many minutes afterward. I was seriously nervous about the surgery and honestly wanted to back out although I knew that wasn't actually an option. They wheeled me over to the OR around 12:40 and I said goodbye to my husband while they prepped me and administered the spinal. I couldn't believe how intense the spinal felt, it was completely bizarre. Luckily I could see DH through a glass window in the OR which helped to keep me calm. They finally told him he could come in which was good b/c I started to feel really terrible. They said my BP was dropping and gave me some kind of drug to bring it back up which helped slightly but not completely. I was feeling really out of it and sick and then my BP dropped again and they had to give me more medication. I thought I was going to be sick but I had nothing in my tummy to bring up. I could barely feel the doc at all, so the spinal must have taken incredibly well. After what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes I could hear them saying they were pulling her out. They then dropped the curtain so I could see her being born. It was so surreal. They said she started pooping as soon as she was born which made me laugh a little. I couldn't believe it. She was born at 1:05pm and was 8lbs 6 oz and 21 inches long with a 9/9 on her apgars!!! She started crying and it was such a loud healthy cry, it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. They took her over to wipe her off and suction her for what felt like a million years. The whole time I just kept saying "oh my god, oh my god"...I couldn't believe it. I started to feel really sick again while I was waiting for her but just when I thought I might throw up they brought her over and for some reason I immediately forgot how bad I was feeling. I held her and started talking to her and she stopped crying right away. It was the coolest thing. She looked at me with those big beautiful eyes and I fell so deeply in love with her it was unbelieveable. They took her to the nursery while they stitched me up and then I waited in recovery for a long time for her. I couldn't believe how tiny she was. eight pounds sounds so big and then I was holding this tiny baby. My recovery went pretty well in the hospital and she breastfed like a champ despite some shallow latch issues we started out with. I still can't believe I'm a mommy or how I ever lived without this little person. It is the most profound thing that has ever happened to me.
